


Tone

by HeartbeatsAreMySymphony



Category: Eu não quero voltar sozinho | I Don't Want to Go Back Alone (2010), The Song of Achilles - Madeline Miller
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Blind Character, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-08
Updated: 2016-03-08
Packaged: 2018-05-25 11:42:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6193816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeartbeatsAreMySymphony/pseuds/HeartbeatsAreMySymphony
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Patroclus has known nothing but darkness since birth. Then, he meets Achilles, and little by little, the world becomes a vast array of color.</p><p>(Based on a lovely short film by the name of: 'Eu Não Quero Voltar Sozinho' or 'I don't want to go back alone.')</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tone

**Author's Note:**

> This is based off of my favourite short film (which I DEFINITELY recommend you watch) titled: 'Eu Não Quero Voltar Sozinho' or 'I don't want to go back alone.' Music recommended to listen to while reading: Diamonds-cover by Andrew Page, Happiness- The Fray, Disarm- Civil Wars cover.  
> -M.L.

Tone

 

* * *

 

 

_Ding!_

“Elevator up!”

The room erupted into smooth, loud laughter, and I felt myself grin.

“Don’t you have anything more original, Agamemnon?” Briseis scoffed from my right. Still, I couldn’t help but continue grinning. It wasn’t such a bad joke. Agamemnon made a noise in retaliation, but said nothing else, (presumably) getting back to work. Then, silence fell on me once more, and I felt my heart sink. I didn’t allow myself to think much of it, returning to my own work.

I’m not quite sure how much time went by (time is a constant which I will never truly understand), but the shallow breathing of the class was suddenly interrupted by Mr. C. I listened carefully to the squeak of his wheelchair, knowing it meant he was about to make an announcement. He sat for another ten seconds or so, then said: “As class has almost finished, I’d like to take this opportunity to introduce our new student, Achilles.”

The class erupted in hoots and hollers, and I felt myself smile again. From behind me, a shuffling was heard, and the subtle screech of a chair being pushed aside echoed thoroughly in my mind. Footsteps, light footsteps, so light I might’ve mistaken them for a girl’s, rang clearly from behind me, to far ahead.

“My name’s Achilles.”

His voice was smooth, like honey, and had an air of purpose to it. It reminded me of Agamemnon’s, though not quite as cocky or arrogant. It was deep and rich, and I found myself aching to hear more.

“Hi, Achilles.” Droned the class, led by Agamemnon, as usual. Sweet laughter, illuminated by his, bounced from the ceramic walls of the classroom, and I wondered if that’s what the sun looked like.

All too soon, the spell was broken, as the bell screeched loudly, signalling our release from the prison dubbed ‘High School’. A ruckus of footsteps shuffling exploded around me, as people ruffled their bags and said their goodbyes.

“Pat,” the scent of sea-salt overwhelmed me, and the color green as I imagined it to be. “Ready to go?” I nodded, and reached for Bri’s arm; gripping it tightly as we made our departure. However, as we made our way to the buzzing hallway, Briseis stopped suddenly.

“Do you walk up the hill, or down?”

Who was she talking to? As far as I’d heard, everyone had already left.

“Down.” Smooth, like honey. Sweet and sticky, the gentle sound of bees flitted through my mind. Yellow.

I felt Briseis nod her head (I’d grown used to the vibrations over the years), and say: “You should walk with us.” Her smile was loud and clear, the pitch of her voice shifting ever so slightly as it did when she was beaming.

“Ok.” He was smiling, too.

* * *

 

As we walked down the hill, we fell into conversation quite easily. I learned that Achilles was quite the athlete; a _track star_! He told us of how he had lived with his father, before coming to live with his mother for the next two years. In turn, I told him of how I loved classical music, Bach in particular, but also enjoyed extremely loud music. I liked feeling the vibrations while simultaneously listening to the screaming; it almost made up for my lack of sight. Briseis spoke about her love of history class, which Achilles shared, and in no time, we had reached my house.

Briseis lightly tapped me thrice on the shoulder, and I mechanically gave her my keys. I listened to the sharp and cutting sounds of the lock turning and clicking, then the high screech of the door opening.

“Bye.” Smiled Briseis, and leaned in to kiss my cheek. I kissed her back, then turned to where I assumed Achilles stood.

“Good-bye, Achilles.” I extended my hand, which he gladly took.

“Bye, Patroclus.” He had a tight grip. It felt how I imagined gold and bronze to look. I liked it.

The rest of my evening went by in peaceful routine. I ate dinner alone, as I always do, then did my homework. Once that was finished, I showered and changed into sleep clothes, and plugged my headphones into the _iPod Classic_ Briseis had gotten for me two years ago. I faded off to the melodious sound of Philip Glass’ _Metamorphosis_.

* * *

 

The next day, Briseis _and_ Achilles were at my door to walk to school with me. It seemed that Achilles fit right in with Briseis and I, which for some reason I was grateful for. I learned to know his footsteps, light and agile, and his laugh. It was bright and sunny, the way I always imagined summer to look like. A nice contrast to Briseis, who was all storm and waves. Achilles was bright; he was the sun and the moon, and the stars and comets. Achilles was the Universe.

* * *

 

“Bri,” I began one day during a spare. My head was in her soft lap as she toyed with my hair, and read aloud Allen Ginsberg. “Am I attractive?”

She stopped, then giggled. “I think you’re attractive.” Her voice changed in a way which was unfamiliar, though I paid it no heed.

“I mean, am I attractive to other people?”

At this, her toying with my hair stopped. “I don’t know.” she said stiffly. “You’d have to ask _them_.”

Before I could reply, the bell rang, and Achilles had arrived. We stood to our feet, each greeting Achilles. As we readied to walk, I reached for Achilles’ arm, and gripped it tightly. There was silence, and I felt a sudden fear spike up within me.

“Are you still there?” I asked tentatively.

“Um-hum.” Achilles. I felt my heart revert to it’s usual pumping.

“Let’s go.” Briseis said in the same stiff manner as before.

* * *

 

Our walk went the way it usually did, which I was grateful for. Briseis seemed back to her old self, and all was good in the world.

“Don’t you live around here?” Asked Achilles, to whom I can only assume was Briseis.

“Yeah,” she agreed. “My house is that one.” I heard her shuffle, and knew she was pointing in the general direction of her home. I’d been there a few times, though not often.

I felt Achilles shrug. “I can walk Pat home.”

“Are you sure?” Briseis asked dubiously. After all, she had been walking me home since we were nine.

“Yeah.” Said Achilles easily.

Briseis crossed our paths, and said: “Thank you. I really need the washroom.” She laughed sweetly, like the beach, then leaned in to kiss us goodbye. I listened as her steps faded, and soon, it was just Achilles and I.

We walked in silence the rest of the way, though not in the awkward kind of silence. This silence was one of peace. It was one which I found didn’t irritate me, as all others did. I was content in the sound of his breathing; the sound of his agile steps. I was content in the soft hardness of his arm. I was content in him.

All too soon, we reached my place. The rock of the walls turned to metal bars of a door, and for some reason I regretted being home so soon.

“Want to come in?” It was impulsive. I don’t know what got into me, but the words slipped out of my mouth before I could hold them back and think them over.

“Okay.” Beautiful yellow and gold.

Together, we walked into the small house, and marched our way to my room. We sat down on my bed, and began discussing the latest English lecture, reciting Kerouac and Whitman. He was so beautiful. Times like these, I desired more than ever the gift of sight. But, as we continued to laugh and be in each other’s company, I realised that he was enough. More than enough. He gave me vision, he gave me color; he gave me eyes. Blues and yellows and greens and purples. He filled my world with color in a way I never thought possible.

That night, I slept better than I had since I was four.

* * *

 

A month, or maybe two, went by, and the world only continued to grow brighter and more colourful.

“Hey, Pat?” Hot breath landed against my neck and ear. “I left my sweatshirt at your place.”

I laughed quietly. “Just come get it today.”

“I can’t.” he whispered. Yellow. “I’m going to the dentist.”

“I can bring it to you tomorrow.” I suggested.

“Okay.” He then leaned back to his seat behind me, and I found my skin itching to feel the warmth of him once more.

The final bell rung, and I was packing my things. “Bri?” If I had listened correctly, everyone was gone, and it was only Briseis and I left.

“Yeah?” She sounded tired.

“I… Never mind.” I sheepishly turned back to my bag, and felt my cheeks heat.

She sighed. “No, tell me.”

I stood still for a moment, concentrating as hard as possible to re-assure myself that we were alone. Still, I couldn’t help myself but to ask: “Are we alone? _Completely alone_?”

She sat back down in her desk. “Now you’ve got me interested,” she teased good-naturedly. Seafoam. “Yes, we’re all alone.”

“I think I’m in love with Achilles.”

She said nothing at first, then: “Like, boyfriends?”

I nodded my head. “Yeah. I think so.”

“In love, _gay_?” Her voice had turned stormy, and I felt myself shrink.

“Well, yeah.” I answered.

“Listen, Patroclus, I’ve got to go: it’s my Aunt’s birthday. I promise to come over as soon as possible; I won’t even eat dessert!” she declared, then rushed away. What had I done?

* * *

 

The walk home was lonely, and gray. The lack of Achilles’ golden laughter and Briseis’ wave-like speech left an angry absence; a void which could not be filled by the croons of magpies and whistle of the wind. So gray.

Once home, I followed my usual routine. Ate alone, did my homework, then skipped my shower in favour of collapsing on my bed. I plugged my headphones in, and turned it up as loud as possible. Then, I closed my eyes and felt the bumpy texture of my quilt, counting each individual loose thread.

As I was drifting off to be with sheep, my door was swung open. I swiftly removed my music, and stood up from bed, still wearing today’s day clothes.

“Briseis,” I began. “You can’t just leave after I tell you something like that. And I bet you ate dessert.” I accused, but didn’t pause long enough for her to retaliate. “I’ve been wondering if I should have told you I’m in love with Achilles after all. I know you’re the jealous type. What will happen now?” I’m not sure to who that last question was actually directed to, but I heard nothing in return for several moments. “Briseis?”

Suddenly, I saw nothing but gold. Soft, warm lips pressed against mine for what felt like an eternity, but was in reality less then twelve seconds, at most. Then, just as quick as it happened, she was gone. The door clicked behind her, and I was too numb to follow after her. Instead, I put my headphones back on, and pressed play.

I was in the dark once more. Black, black, and black. Everything was black once more, and I had no idea how to find color again.  

“Pat!” I was startled by the sudden shouting of my name. “I’m so sorry I took so long! My Aunt just wouldn’t stop talking, and Mum said it would be ‘un-ladylike’ for me to leave before the party was over!”

“Briseis?” I questioned.

“I’m sorry, Pat!” she continued apologising, though it made no sense.

A sudden disparity filled me, and I rummaged around my desk, then drawers, and chair, and dresser like a mad man.

“Do you see a sweatshirt anywhere, Briseis?” Faint yellow.

“No.” she said, clearly confused. Blue.

“Not even under the bed?” I pressed.

The bed squeaked as she looked. “No.” Green. “Why?” she asked.

I grinned, in what was most likely a stupid fashion. “No reason.” Color.     

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! So I just re-read this work, and realised there was an embarrassing amount of mistakes in it. I'd like to apologise for them, but can't promise this won't happen again, especially since I do not have a Beta at the moment. If you are interested in Betaing, please feel free to P.M. me!  
> -M.L.


End file.
